Well...how should i start to tell the story....
I have a lot of assignment due next week. Communication is very hard major. i`m afraid that i`m going to fuck up. The reason i took this major because i know my quality my self, what i lack of, what i`m not good at. I`m not a good presenter, i`m suck to deal with people, i ought to get a job that i dont have to talk and talk. i am a person who prefer action rather than talk. and if i were in class i never trying to be a smart arse. i tend to listen, i dont wanna being branded, or my class mate thinks i am a kiss ass type of a person. but i found out nowadays in this world without talking and good presentation you wont achieve your goal. even though i used to be a tour guide before. i tend to avoid talking with my customer, i never do such speech or introduction in formal way. Well, I`m lost right now. i have to rethink what should i do instead of worry about what i couldnt do.
I love a reality tv show called Apprentice. To see them compete each other made me realised that i`m far from good. I guess i never be such a good and talented Presenter. Well i dont wanna say it is because of English language is my third language. i dont wanna blame anything.
i shoulda work hard. if they can how come i`m not being able to be like them?
I just got an email from the job that i had applied. Well.. i`m quite down at the moment. cause i`m unsuccesful to get the job. Well at least i can learn from it. It was a good experience and a good picture how`s the big firm play their role. I just tell my self that next time will be better.
I hope i can relieve a lil bit by thinking in that way.
To be honest i dunno why i am so unmotivated. was it because of my circumstances?, Life is hard but i have to move on no matter what. I still wanna be in this blue verse, but i dont wanna wasting my time. I kept remembered the voice of my parents. they have a big faith on me. and i dont wanna mess it up. i wanna pursue my goal. soon i`m going to become 21 years old.
It is time for me to concentrate on everything i do. i have to. no more joking, no more playing, no more bitching, no more hating, dont give a shit no more to those hypocrites.
Yesterday my cousin stayed in my house. She told me what was going on. Well i am relieved because Cindy had done his project even though she didnt say anything to me. I didnt come to your Final presentation( which i really wanted to come) because 1. i feel sick to watch their face, 2. i dunno how are you going to respond and deal with me. i am a lil bit scared that we might end up in a weird situation. 3. I dont wanna hurt you anymore and i dont wanna being hurt as well. 4. I have to stick to my plan which is doing fine in my project and assignment, and i have to stick with myself about avoiding you until you get the meaning of what i had said to you. 5. I dont think you wanna see my face and i hate the fact you aint give a shit about me.
Well i guess i am doing suck at the moment. i hope i can bounce back as soon as possible. I`m quite dissappointed though about the job. because it is a nice job with good income as well. It was entirely my fault. no one to be blame. I`m so unmotivated, but i have to wake up and finish my project. Well at this moment, You are still leading( you know who you are) dont worry babe. i`ll bounce back and will be better than ever. You can smile right now but not until i left you behind my ass. :P
Well i shouldnt say these things but you inspired me and you kept reminding me. without you i probably will be lost in the middle of the forest. Thx for guiding me so far and thx for being so sweet all this time. Our bet is still on... i`m not going to let this walk away. i`m not going to give up yet. because i have to let you see how great i am...i must be the greatest.....and after that i will retire and laugh to those people who looked down on me and made my life miserable.
Fuck Yall Commoners.
And for Doris...i wish i could sensored anything that i said to you. but we both know its impossible. i never lie and you know i hate being lied. i never regret for what i said. cause it is what i feel about you and the whole things. it went sux i know...the conversation. I dont know how to make this easier for you.. because i`m so tired..i hope you will understand that i`m tired about fights, argument. I never wanted it ended like that. At least i am glad that finally you know that i am no good. i wish i could reverse the situation but i have a lot of things to take care of.
so if you read this....i want you to know i regret nothing and i will stick to what i am. you think you know me very well. but the fact is you gave the wrong perception about me. I told you there are so many untold secret. no one can understand me as well as my self. i know i was being such an ass. you even said i`m such an ego person. Well i have to admit it. It was you who light up the fire..if it wasnt you started it first, i wont be pissed. Well i thank you for your patient to listen to me and give me such a good advise as my sister. but too bad the conversation went fucked up. Next time you dont have to listen to me no more.
I am getting used with my self. I have no one to rely on. thats fine with me. i know it sounds pathetic but i dont give a fuck no more to anyone who against me. i just wanna stick with my friends who love me for who i am, supporting me all the good times and bad times, never says i am an idiot, or whatsoever.
Till later.. i will start my first journey in the real world tomorrow.
Love you guys especially Bebe..
I am so sorry not being able to tell you what i feel. i was too afraid.. and your attitude doesnt seem to be friendly to me. I still waiting for the day when all the bad memories are erased.
Till then i will be gone.. and so are you.
I have a lot of assignment due next week. Communication is very hard major. i`m afraid that i`m going to fuck up. The reason i took this major because i know my quality my self, what i lack of, what i`m not good at. I`m not a good presenter, i`m suck to deal with people, i ought to get a job that i dont have to talk and talk. i am a person who prefer action rather than talk. and if i were in class i never trying to be a smart arse. i tend to listen, i dont wanna being branded, or my class mate thinks i am a kiss ass type of a person. but i found out nowadays in this world without talking and good presentation you wont achieve your goal. even though i used to be a tour guide before. i tend to avoid talking with my customer, i never do such speech or introduction in formal way. Well, I`m lost right now. i have to rethink what should i do instead of worry about what i couldnt do.
I love a reality tv show called Apprentice. To see them compete each other made me realised that i`m far from good. I guess i never be such a good and talented Presenter. Well i dont wanna say it is because of English language is my third language. i dont wanna blame anything.
i shoulda work hard. if they can how come i`m not being able to be like them?
I just got an email from the job that i had applied. Well.. i`m quite down at the moment. cause i`m unsuccesful to get the job. Well at least i can learn from it. It was a good experience and a good picture how`s the big firm play their role. I just tell my self that next time will be better.
I hope i can relieve a lil bit by thinking in that way.
To be honest i dunno why i am so unmotivated. was it because of my circumstances?, Life is hard but i have to move on no matter what. I still wanna be in this blue verse, but i dont wanna wasting my time. I kept remembered the voice of my parents. they have a big faith on me. and i dont wanna mess it up. i wanna pursue my goal. soon i`m going to become 21 years old.
It is time for me to concentrate on everything i do. i have to. no more joking, no more playing, no more bitching, no more hating, dont give a shit no more to those hypocrites.
Yesterday my cousin stayed in my house. She told me what was going on. Well i am relieved because Cindy had done his project even though she didnt say anything to me. I didnt come to your Final presentation( which i really wanted to come) because 1. i feel sick to watch their face, 2. i dunno how are you going to respond and deal with me. i am a lil bit scared that we might end up in a weird situation. 3. I dont wanna hurt you anymore and i dont wanna being hurt as well. 4. I have to stick to my plan which is doing fine in my project and assignment, and i have to stick with myself about avoiding you until you get the meaning of what i had said to you. 5. I dont think you wanna see my face and i hate the fact you aint give a shit about me.
Well i guess i am doing suck at the moment. i hope i can bounce back as soon as possible. I`m quite dissappointed though about the job. because it is a nice job with good income as well. It was entirely my fault. no one to be blame. I`m so unmotivated, but i have to wake up and finish my project. Well at this moment, You are still leading( you know who you are) dont worry babe. i`ll bounce back and will be better than ever. You can smile right now but not until i left you behind my ass. :P
Well i shouldnt say these things but you inspired me and you kept reminding me. without you i probably will be lost in the middle of the forest. Thx for guiding me so far and thx for being so sweet all this time. Our bet is still on... i`m not going to let this walk away. i`m not going to give up yet. because i have to let you see how great i am...i must be the greatest.....and after that i will retire and laugh to those people who looked down on me and made my life miserable.
Fuck Yall Commoners.
And for Doris...i wish i could sensored anything that i said to you. but we both know its impossible. i never lie and you know i hate being lied. i never regret for what i said. cause it is what i feel about you and the whole things. it went sux i know...the conversation. I dont know how to make this easier for you.. because i`m so tired..i hope you will understand that i`m tired about fights, argument. I never wanted it ended like that. At least i am glad that finally you know that i am no good. i wish i could reverse the situation but i have a lot of things to take care of.
so if you read this....i want you to know i regret nothing and i will stick to what i am. you think you know me very well. but the fact is you gave the wrong perception about me. I told you there are so many untold secret. no one can understand me as well as my self. i know i was being such an ass. you even said i`m such an ego person. Well i have to admit it. It was you who light up the fire..if it wasnt you started it first, i wont be pissed. Well i thank you for your patient to listen to me and give me such a good advise as my sister. but too bad the conversation went fucked up. Next time you dont have to listen to me no more.
I am getting used with my self. I have no one to rely on. thats fine with me. i know it sounds pathetic but i dont give a fuck no more to anyone who against me. i just wanna stick with my friends who love me for who i am, supporting me all the good times and bad times, never says i am an idiot, or whatsoever.
Till later.. i will start my first journey in the real world tomorrow.
Love you guys especially Bebe..
I am so sorry not being able to tell you what i feel. i was too afraid.. and your attitude doesnt seem to be friendly to me. I still waiting for the day when all the bad memories are erased.
Till then i will be gone.. and so are you.
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