What is i gonna do?

i miss home so much at the moment....things are pretty fucked up in Sydney, i wish i could have the moment when i was with my friend back in Medan. I missed all of them,
the school is pretty boring.. i couldnt wake up.. but i still managed to come to the class everyday, a lot of shits coming up.. i need to focus..while myself still feel uncontent about study. but i got to do it whether i like it or not!.

the only good thins about me is that i am getting close with cia cia, i called her and i missed her all the time, she is the only one who can talk, understand me. i finally fall for her, i am so into her and she did give me a feedback as well. the only thing that bothers me a lot is that her past. it annoys me a lot because everyone thought that i look like his ex bf, which i hate to admit it. what the fuck was that!. even though i already know her for about couple of weeks. but we both felt that we already knew each other for years.. we are so connected.in everything.. even her hobbies, what she likes, or what she hates.. everything is just exactly the same as mine.

I couldnt think about getting her because i dont wanna be unfair.. we both are separeted by a long distance..i dont wanna hurt her. both of us had the same trauma of a bad relationships. 1 thing for sure... She`s real fine.. She`s so pretty in a real person rather in a pic that she put in her friendster. I know that she wanted to forget her past.. by trying to open herself to me. she hasnt been in a relationships for 6 months already. but i have a lot of things swimming in my head. i couldnt make a decision.. i know that she likes me a lot. from the way she talks to me..from her attention to me.. i am so flattered...but i dont wanna hurt her..its not because i still couldnt forget about Cindy. but it just simply that i dont wanna ruin everythings or jump into the same hole again. I dont wanna get hurt..and i dont wanna hurt her as well..

i couldnt sleep... i drank 2 vodka today.. i feel so pissed..i am not sure what that fuck is going on with me.. but i just wanna think all over again..but i really miss her..i wanna hear her voice..
later...