kurang lebih udah 3 bulan saya mengenal cia cia.. akhirnya semua drama udah terbongkar dari apa ketulusan dia selama ini. Jumat tanggal 2..hari pertama kerja saya, i called her when i got home and suddenly a guy answer the phone and says, I am cia`s boy friend. at first i thought it was just a joke. I said stop playing cause i dont have the mood. i am so fuckin tired, And Kyo told cia to tell me on da phone and tell me everything. but she didnt say a thing and i start to worried, The joke became a serious problem, and my heart was beaten and shaking like shit, I drop of my tears for the heart ache for the dissappointment that i got.
How could she do that to me? since i already gave my heart since from the start.
I couldnt understand why did she keep the relationship with him, afterwards Kyo took over cia`s mobile phone. the incidents was occured in Yenny`s home. After Cia left to her house...her friends was trying to calm me down..and 1 thing..i hate her friends... acting like shit when they were talk to me... dont fuckin hope that i will forgive them..my heart was break into pieces...because of her disloyalty..and unhonesty....Now my mind is swimming so hard..
I am asking to myself.. Does she really deserve my love.. while she was cheating behind my back..although that things has revealed by itself..still i am so unsatisfied..What the hell did i do wrong...that made her chose him rather than me..
I need time to rethink over and over again.. about the matters.. Does she ever really like me? does she ever consider how i felt?, could she be trusted anymore?, Will she ever take me seriously for what i had told her?, Lord..i am so pissed that i was cheated twice with the same heart ache.
I talked with kyo as well..and he told me everything..and he was heart broken as well..because he was intended to divorce with her wife..and be with cia..and..i am totally sure that cia will choose to be with him rather than me..if its happend that way..What a dumb ass i am..
At the moment.. cia is asking for a second chance from me..and the funny thing is that..i dont even understand what does she want?. is it a boy fren girl fren relationship or just like used to be? because she doesnt admit us...to kyo or others.. i was deceived by her words..Should i give her another chance or not?
Cia told me today as well..that She and Kyo met at sun plaza..and Kyo ask her...if two of us standing right here.. which one will you choose to be with?.. kyo says..if you keep silent..it mean you choose to be with him.. and cia kept silent... Cia told me..that she has chosen to be with me.. but her feeling for him is still there...cia still love him...but cia cares about me..and put a lot of hope for me.. i dont even know whether its true..and pure as she says it.. cause..no matter how hard i am gonna believe her...it just that i am scared to death..that she`s going to cheat behind my back again.
Am i gonna get hurt again in the future? if i give her a second shot?
Am i gonna be able to forget those pain? those memory of scar?
my heart has been scrath too much...and i am not sure if i am able to let it go
no medicine to cure it... it just too great.. the pain
if i couldnt forget those memory.. i will leave her for sure...
this is the cause and effect of the dishonest...
my heart wont be the same again..i will easily get hurt..just by the thing that u will upset me
i wish that...i will never fall into the same misery no more
