Babe,,,

She went back at around 4 yesterday, we talked on da phone...to clarify everything
babe wanted to end it up...cause she said that she doesnt want to hurt me..
to be honest she is very complicated and her mood changing so quickly like a wind..

at a moment...i had a thought about my past...cause it has the similarity condition..
i am so afraid that she is not for real..
but i tried my best to believe her..and hopefully that cause of this we could understand each other more..

i hope that she would come to Medan this month..so i can show her that i really want to be with her..
the problem is that, i am not sure about her feelings for me..
i dont even know why i have to like her so much..yet...i am afraid that she might want to have a revenge towards me..cause of dre

babe...all i wanted is just that u open ur heart to me...and just a little care from u
i wont be controling ur life cause its not me
all i want is just that we trust each other..
i have a faith in you

And if someday i made u angry...i want u to know..that i am really gonna try to be the best person for you..
you dont even give a choice..i am stucked in between..i dont really know how to act and how to be...
being myself is so wrong...being others...is even worse,...

and 1 thing..i aint perfect...
but i am willing to try to be a better person..

hopefully things gonna be okay in da future...
i dont wanna be stupid anymore..

if we arent mean to be together...i will let you go..
so you know..i already did my best....for you...babe..

Orchestra?

I just got back in Medan from Jakarta, It wasnt like i expected before..so many stuffs happend right there...
It wasnt that fun like it was supposed to be..

I have been attracted to kath recently, we got to know each other like a month...Then we met in Jakarta..everything went fine..
I am happy when i was around her..

But i am not sure about the relationship that we are going to have since the distance between us is not supporting us.
Then, something just came up...

I am so pissed and i dont even know whether i could trust her or not!
since that she already said that she aint going to the club and alcohol for a while!
but today, she sent me a text said that she is going to!
Well as the matter of fact, i am not pissed about she wanted to go to the club.
but she broke the promise that she has made!
i am dissappointed...i really do! cause once a liar is forever a liar!

the other things is that i do really care about her! she just recovered from her illness...
But i have no choice, cause she aint listening to me..
now, i am really doubt whether she is for real or not!
does she really care about me? from the act she did...she aint give a rat shit..
She said that as well in da phone..so i have to becareful from now on
cause if u act like this...i aint gonna trust u no more

Every words that comes out from your mouth...its all bull shit
Why do u have to be fake!
So if u read this one day babe...so you know that there is no point acting cool and ignorant! cause that aint true to yourself

i aint gonna act like there is nothing happening..cause it affects my perception about us..
so you know..that faking is not my cup of tea
okay i dont wanna say nothing no more...at the moment..u aint gonna care..cause u are having fun over there..

Whatever i said will do nothing good..
so then....and once again...
i will be waiting for what is gonna happend in da future.