Raison D'etre

It means a reason for being, Well i am having a thought what purpose do i have in this life.

Everyone has a reason for living, loving, dying and etc. I am still trying to treasure mine.

As time gets ticking, i am quite concern about what i have achieve in this life. cause compare with what i have imagine is not even that damn close. A reason that i should not put it or blame it to others if i fail in the future. but as always i am overly confident.

Is it wrong that i am still not get any things to do in my life to make a living because i dont like what i have been offered?

i was given opportunity that i am not comfortable with, is that wrong to not doing it instead of doing something else that no one will approve with? yes i am talking about gambling industry. i have been living and knowing all the games and the system since i was in elementary school. but as i grown and witnessed lots of gamblers went bankrupt i started to think about something that does have a longer and safe insurance into making a living.

I always wanted to be part of gaming industry so my dream job would be in Casino. Yes, i work for them. just imagine about wearing a suit, just like the movie in Casino by Robert Deniro. He was a pitt boss, supervisor and at the end became the highest authority in Casino. I wanted that life, who doesnt?

But i realized that my dream i starting to fade away a lil bit, cause of financial situation. i have to do something else that legal to support my life at moment. I hope that i have that passion with. I hope that i dont make others suffer because of me. I want people to recognize my talent at the end of my time. I am going to accomplish my thing with dignity.

This is my raison d'etre.